Induction 2008

Potential Icebergs should note that induction days for this season (2008) of the Bondi Icebergs Winter Swimming Club will be on the 12th and 26th of April at 11 am sharp in the Members Room. I.e., access from street level (not the pool).

After being "Lofterized" in the Members room (don't worry it doesn't hurt...much), filling out a form, paying up front, you swim a 50m time trial.

a. To establish you won't drown. You need to be able to get from one end of a 50m pool, to the other, via the water, self propelled and that's all I'm saying about the swimming styles on display at an Icebergs Sunday for this year. (For stroke correction see "Jo the Mermaid" or "Spot with attitude Anderson".)

b. To establish your handicap time. I'll repeat that, your handicap time. So swim faster, if possible, than you've ever swum in your entire life. (If you don't get it by now, oh well.)

However, be real, the Icebergs is a commitment and the Club makes no apologies for that. It is what makes the Club the largest, most recognised winter swimming club in the country, if not the world. You can only miss 1 Sunday a month over the 5 month winter season. You will be considered a novice i.e., not a Full Iceberg, until your 75 swims over a minimum of 5 years is up. Being an Iceberg is a responsibility and taking responsibility for yourself. As JFK said when he was an Iceberg, "Think not what the Icebergs can do for you, rather, think what you can do for the Icebergs."

Can't make the induction days?
No worries - You can't be an Iceberg.

Live too far away to make the commitment of every week?
No worries - You can't be an Iceberg.

Former Olympian "I don't like swimming in cold water."
No worries - You can't be an Iceberg.

You want special rules, that you've decided to make up, to apply to you.
No worries - You can't be an Iceberg.

You think you want to be an "Iceburger", like it's something you get at Macca's.
You're an idiot - You can't be an Iceberg

You're a hand wringing, slim hipped, purse carrying, nancy boy, who's blaming everyone but yourself for not having your current membership card on Opening Day.
Be an Iceberg - Pay Entry $5:00, it's about taking responsibility, remember?

Being an Iceberg isn't for everyone and that's why being an Iceberg is special. There are plenty of other winter swimming clubs you can join. They have limp wristed names like Dolphins, Seals, Crabs or Eels. None of them are the Icebergs. It wasn't a Penguin that sunk the Titanic was it? You're not going to walk into some gin joint anywhere in the world and proclaim proudly "I'm a Splasher" and expect anyone to care...oh please. None of the other clubs have hundreds of swimmers turning up week after week after week, rain or shine. (This season, the long range forecast says there will be precious little of the latter, so toughen up, 'cause you've had it easy 'til now.) It's what makes the Icebergs great.

So why do it? It's fun, whether you like it or not! It's a point of contact with people from all walks of life, you can bag a local Fireman (everyone does) and an aspiring Prime Minister on the same morning. You can drink beer and eat meat pies. This year there'll even be healthy food at the new, for this season, "Crabbe Hole Cafe" on pool level. (Andrew has the best coffee in Bondi, no contest. The food is good for you, scarey but true.) At a time when sleazy public figures try to dictate what it is to be an Australian, this stands above all that sludge as a Great Aussie Institution. If you need exercise REAL men and women swim the Bay, 800m each way, before, or after their race, or both. Even Tex did it and everyone knows what a pussy he is. (What do you mean SHARKS? There aren't that many. Well, maybe a few...) Be a man, not a mollusc. Do it for yourself and do it for AUSTRALIA! See you there sport.